The real, unfiltered journey behind the work I do — and why my story might just sound a lot like yours, in many ways, too.
This isn't a polished highlight reel or a carefully curated 'About Me' page. My self love story is raw, real, and at times, hard to tell. But it's the story that led me to dedicate my life to helping you find yours — and I believe every word of it matters, so I've tried to hold little back.
allow me to introduce myself...
Hi, I'm Ell, the Founder of Your Self Love Story.
For 5+ years, I wrote about love for a living, as the Founder of Forgetting Fairytales — a Specialist Breakup, Dating, Relationship & Self Love blog that reached over 7.5 million+ readers, across all 195 countries globally.
I also coached hundreds of women worldwide with private, strategic coaching. And one thing I found everything so often came back to?... SELF LOVE, honestly.
I truly believe that self love is at the heart of everything - no matter what your relationship status is, which is why I decided to home in on this, creating Your Self Love Story in 2025, a space rooted in growth, healing, and self-connection.
My self love book series, self love challenge series, and our supportive community space are practical tools designed to help you build stronger self worth, better boundaries, and lasting self love that shows up in real life.
The self love thread running through Forgetting Fairytales — read in every country on earth — is what sparked Your Self Love Story.
Writing the Love Yourself series - a debut self love book series rooted in lived experience and specialist coaching.
A creator-led programme built from 5+ years of specialist coaching to rebuild self-worth from the inside out.
Private 1:1 strategic coaching for women worldwide, specialising in self-worth, boundaries, and lasting self love.
Let’s get to know each other a little better…
So hey, sit back, grab a coffee, and let’s dig into my self love story. This is why I’m so damn passionate about what I do, and why I’m so genuinely & wholeheartedly committed to helping you. It’s taken a long time to have the confidence to fully and openly share this with the world, but I figured - if it helps you to put your trust in me and embark on #yourselflovestory - it’s worth it.
TRIGGER WARNING: The following content may be distressing and includes mention of assault and trauma.
My self love story
Growing up, I would swirl around in my Princess dresses, dreaming of that “happily ever after.” I was always so full of love, joy and hope.
The thing is, real-life hit hard for me, when - at the age of just 15 - I was brutally assaulted by the person who I thought was my first true love. It was a huge trauma that forced me to hit rock bottom, questioning everyone and everything; triggering complex-PTSD as a result.
I was manipulated, used, abused, then tossed aside. And that stuck with me... As much as you can try to rationalise things - there was always an element of “why me?”
This early trauma also significantly impacted my development of self love. It instilled negative core beliefs that sustained feelings of unworthiness, shame, and inadequacy; and developed a cruel inner voice, full of self-criticism and a lack of self-compassion, that I struggled to shift.
my self love story
After that, I became fixated on love being “the fix”. I thought that if I could just be loved, fully and truly this time, I would finally be and feel worthy.
It became a desperate need, an obsession, and it led me to toxic relationships and destructive habits, that further damaged my sense of self-worth. I experienced infidelity, incessant deceit, and at times, even tolerated violence; all of which only built on my past trauma & negative beliefs about myself.
There were many glimmers of hope, many positive experiences in my search to find love, too. But because I didn’t know my worth, I kept being attracted back to the people who were just as “broken” as I thought I was.
After all, as the saying goes: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” 💔
Now of course, I wasn’t completely faultless. I had trust issues, insecurities, an incredibly anxious attachment and I certainly hadn’t gotten to grips with my triggers & how to handle the overwhelming emotions they stirred up either. There were many times where I struggled to show up in relationships in the way I wanted to, or in the way that felt like me.
But I refused to give up; I refused to let my past define me and I was determined to step up, take responsibility and make the changes I needed to see in myself to build the life (and love) that I wanted.
My self love story
After having to break off an engagement in 2019 and start over - AGAIN - I finally decided that enough was enough. This HAD to be the turning point. And, thankfully, it was.
I went to therapy - multiple times actually. At one point I even tried hypnotherapy too. None of which worked. So I decided to take control of my own life, mind and reality.
I completely immersed myself in learning the depths of breakups, dating and relationships – the key challenges, the psychology that is all linked in with it, but most importantly, the solutions: what you can do.
I read books, I swatted up on strategies, I developed my own fundamental processes, and -just to cover all areas– gained coaching qualifications. (Because I knew I wanted to do everything that I could, to be fully equipped in helping other people too.)
That’s how Forgetting Fairytales came about in 2020 and it grew pretty rapidly. I would write, I would coach, and I was most definitely learning and growing too. But the truth was - I was still only touching the surface...
I was focused on everyone else & forgetting about myself.
My value was now - very firmly - placed on my success and my achievements. I was painting over the cracks and avoiding confronting the damaging beliefs, negative self talk and unresolved issues, that continued to torment me.
my self love story
On 24th July 2021, I met my soulmate (now husband) by complete and utter chance.
Meeting Adam didn’t make everything automatically fall into place, but by finding someone who was (genuinely) everything I'd ever dreamed of - it ignited the fire inside me to make sure that NO amount of past-pain or potential-future-sabotage would EVER allow me to lose this relationship now.
I finally felt safe. I truly felt loved & accepted.
And so I knew it was well beyond time that I find that love and acceptance for myself...
“The right person won’t fix everything, but they’ll make you see that you can do it all yourself."
See, it was no longer about simply getting over the past. I’d already accepted that. Instead, it was about rewriting my brain, rediscovering my TRUE worth, and building myself up - higher than I’d ever been before.
This turning point, this new chapter, was where my self love story truly began...
my self love story
Now I'm not going to tell you that it was simple, it was easier, or the process was linear. It wasn't, and - in all honesty - I still have battles with the way I feel in myself today. The difference is - they're now far less frequent, far less intense, I can separate myself from them, and I know what to do when they show up.
But that's why I can firmly and confidently do the work that I do today - knowing that, I too, can get you through ANY personal battles that have been preventing you from being able to love & accept all parts of you.
See, I truly don’t want anyone to feel as broken and alone as I once did. I’m lucky enough to now be living a life that was once just a dream; married to the love of my love and FINALLY finding the love and acceptance for myself. But this has been a 15 year +, long and excruciatingly-difficult journey, and it's one that I wouldn't want anyone to have to face alone.
My self love story
Today, I can finally look myself in the mirror and feel at peace.
I'm not just "in my self love era," I've made self love a part of me, as I know it's what allows me to show up as my best, true self - not just for myself, but also for everyone else.
I'm not perfect. Gee, who is? And who would even want to be?! But I'm intentionally living in a way that is true to me, and as a result - I've found literally every part of my life improve.
It's transformed everything, truly — my confidence, my relationships, my sense of self. Writing, coaching, and preparing to welcome our first child with my husband by my side, I'm living with a fullness I genuinely never thought possible. And I want you to experience that fullness too — whatever that looks like in your life.
I want you to feel whole. At every stage. In every season.
That’s why I pour so much of myself into the Love Yourself series and the Self Love Challenges: to meet women wherever they are on their self love journey, whether they’re just beginning or already deep in the work, and to walk alongside them with love, purpose and genuine care.
why I understand where you are
See, as I look back on the journey I've just shared - the searching, the losing myself, the rebuilding, and the becoming - one thing becomes very clear: self love was either the thread I lost, or the thing that held me together.
And so, if any part of that resonates - if you've ever felt like you were disappearing, or waiting to feel worthy, or just quietly struggling to put yourself first - I want you to know: I really do get it. And you're in the right place now, I promise you.
I chose to focus my work on these five life stages - because I know, first-hand, how differently self love shows up in each one. And I'm here to meet you exactly where you are.
I spent years searching for love outside myself - carrying the ache and loneliness of wanting to be chosen, wanted, and seen - not realising the relationship I was missing most was the one with me. I know what it feels like to pour your hope into the idea of someone else completing you, and how easily self worth can get tangled up with attention, validation, and being picked.
I've loved people at the expense of myself - living through the pain of losing my identity, my boundaries, and my voice in the process, while telling myself it was just what love looked like. I know how quietly that erosion can happen, how hard it can be to notice when you're shrinking yourself to keep the connection, and how much self love it takes to find your way back to your own truth.
I've personally been through the TTC journey - the hope, the heartbreak, the waiting, and the emotional weight that comes with wanting something so deeply and not knowing when, or if, it will happen. I know how quickly your worth can get tangled up in the outcome, and how much self love matters in the middle of it all. When it's out of your hands, self love becomes a lifeline.
I'm pregnant right now, expecting in September, and I'm living this stage in real time - with all the change, vulnerability, wonder, and the quiet work of staying connected to myself as everything changes. Self love isn't an idea here; it's what I'm actively leaning on while I'm in it. Pregnancy asks you to hold yourself with even more tenderness than ever before.
I can only begin to imagine what it means to lose yourself in a role you love completely. Giving so much of your heart, time, and energy that your own needs can start to feel secondary, or even selfish. I know the quiet, urgent ache of wanting to find your way back to yourself without the guilt, and how deeply self love matters when you're learning to care for everyone else without disappearing in the process.
The nitty gritty
Everything you've just read is the lived experience behind the work I do. But lived experience alone isn't enough — which is why I've backed it with years of specialist study and professional training. I've been writing about self love since 2020, and I've been coaching specifically in self love for the last 2 years.
Strategic Intervention Coaching - Robbins-Madanes Training (2022). One of the most powerful, results-driven coaching modalities in the world - combining psychology, NLP, cognitive tools, and strategic intervention techniques to create lasting, meaningful change.
Years of personal experience with complex-PTSD, combined with extensive self-directed study of nervous system responses and trauma-sensitive approaches to healing.
Extensive study of attachment theory and how our earliest bonds shape the way we relate to ourselves and others - relevant at every life stage.
Dedicated specialist focus on self love, self-worth, and inner healing - combining coaching methodology, personal lived experience, and an in-depth understanding of the patterns that keep women stuck.
And so, when you read one of my books or sign up for one of my challenges, you're not just getting someone who understands the pain - you're getting someone who has lived it, studied it, and turned it into grounded, compassionate support you can trust.
oh, and hey i know what you may be thinking, so before you go…
So did I. So I get it. Completely. In all honesty, I once thought "self love" was just the latest buzzword. I thought I knew my worth, and to some degree - I did. But the difference was - I didn't truly FEEL worthy. It was all a bit of a front, with me kidding myself more than anyone else. At the end of the day, self love is in fact for everyone - from those with the highest self-esteem to the lowest. Self love is also not a fixed state, but a continuous process of engaging in behaviours and thoughts that nurture your well-being. So - where are you really at? Take the quiz and find out.