17 (Surprising) Effects Couples Find From Increased Confidence

Everyone talks about the power of self confidence, and how life-changing it is. But to what degree, you might be wondering? And how about specifically in relationships? Well in this post, we’ll reveal all - with 17 (somewhat surprising!) effects couples find from increased confidence.

WARNING: We cannot be responsible for the serious levels of relationship satisfaction that will follow once you decide to fully commit to this. Although if you’d like to say “it all started with this post, Ell” - I’ll be totally fine with this. 😉

How High Is Your Confidence in a Relationship?

Before we get stuck into it, you might like to try out our FREE Relationship Confidence Quiz, revealing how high you score when it comes to the level of confidence you show in a relationship.

It’s fast (taking less than 4 minutes to complete!), fun, and seriously insightful. Be sure to give it a go…

17 Things That Happen When You Increase Your Self Esteem

When you’re ready then, let’s jump straight in. Here’s x effects couples find from increased confidence.

The higher your self esteem grows, the more you’ll start to notice these things.

On the flip side, the reverse is also true, because the effects of low self esteem are also far more damaging on your relationship than you may realise too. Just something to bear in mind with it!

So, what have we got? Well, when you increase your self esteem, you’ll find…

1) Deeper Levels of Trust

Higher self-esteem fosters trust in a relationship and makes it easier to trust a partner, because it promotes self-security - the feeling of being confident, self-assured, and safe within oneself.

This leads to a healthier relationship with less insecurity-driven behavior like unnecessary worrying or reassurance-seeking.

People with high self-esteem also believe they are deserving of positive relationships, which allows them to trust their partner's intentions and build a more stable connection.

Whereas low self-esteem often leads to self-protective mistrust and insecurity projected onto the partner. 

As a result - trust is undoubtably one of the effects couples find from increased confidence… But this can - in itself - be broken down further, because with deeper levels of trust you’ll gain things like…

2) Enhanced Emotional Safety

Trust provides a profound sense of security, making partners feel safe enough to be their authentic selves without fear of judgment or betrayal. 

3) Increased Support

Partners who trust each other know they can rely on their partner for support, comfort, and care, particularly during challenging times. They turn to each other more, which also then in turn - strengthens their relationship even more.

4) Less Toxic Traits

Higher levels of trust in a partner are associated with lower levels of both cognitive and behavioral jealousy… One of the most pointless & toxic traits. This will undoubtedly be a weight off both yours and your partner’s shoulders!

REMEMBER - if it doesn’t feel like the “real you”, then you need to work to change it.

5) Deeper Levels of Emotional Intimacy

When you have more trust in a relationship, what else does it create space for? That’s right - emotional intimacy.

Individuals with high self-esteem can better communicate their needs, accept criticism, and offer compassion after conflict, creating a more secure and understanding dynamic with their partner. 

They also find it easier to open up - to talk about the “tough stuff”, to drop their guard and TRULY let someone else in.

This means when you improve your confidence, you can start to connect with your partner on levels that you may not have ever even been before.

6) Boosted Emotional Resilience

A secure emotional connection strengthens individuals' ability to face difficulties with confidence, knowing they have a trusted support system. 

7) Improved Empathy

Ever found yourself wanting to be understanding towards someone or something, but still struggling to truly understand? Well that’s what deeper levels of emotional intimacy helps you to overcome.

Partners develop a deeper understanding and empathy for each other's experiences and emotions. This is as valuable as communication skills are, so it’s one of the most surprisingly powerful effects of increased confidence in a relationship. Oh and let’s also not forget…

8) Increased Happiness and Belonging

Feeling seen, understood, and valued by a partner contributes to a greater sense of belonging and overall happiness, there’s no two ways about it! This in turn, also helps to ease your relationship anxiety.

TRUST ME, I KNOW THIS. Click over here to read my story, as homing in - specifically - on building my confidence in relationships was one the biggest game-changer for me, and I know - without a shadow of a doubt - I wouldn’t have been able to marry the love of my life without it, nor would I feel the way I feel today.

Aren’t you tired of pushing the people you love away? Don’t you want to experience the fullness of a truly healthy, happy relationship?

9) Improved Physical Intimacy

Forget feeling self-conscious about your body or your “ability” in the bedroom. Increased confidence improves physical intimacy too, reducing anxiety and insecurity to instead, simply ENJOY the time you get together - just the two of you.

The more confident you are, the happier you feel in yourself and the more enjoyable physical intimacy is. But also, the more confident you are, the more experimental you’re likely to be, the more passionate you’re likely to be; not to mention the more open and confident you’ll be in expressing your desires, preferences, boundaries or needs.

Physical intimacy becomes then better for you, and better for your partner too. This is one of the less-talked-about effects couples find from increased confidence, but which should certainly still be celebrated just as much!

This can lead to some of the most surprising effects couples find from increased confidence, including…

10) More Passion & Excitement

Who say’s relationships have to get mundane and stagnant over time?! With increased confidence and a more fulfilling relationship, in each and every area, it leads to the passion and excitement that keeps love & romance alive!

11) Improved Relationship Satisfaction

It’s no surprise that couples who engage in more physical intimacy report higher levels of overall relationship satisfaction. Uh huh, research even confirms this. Talking of research…

12) Reduced Stress and Anxiety

Studies show improved self-esteem can even significantly reduce anxiety, with high self-esteem acting as a protective factor against anxiety and a predictor of fewer symptoms over time.

Why this works? Well, because improving self esteem involves self-compassion, identifying strengths, challenging negative self-talk, connecting with others, and being physically active, all of which foster a more resilient and less anxious mindset, so it makes sense really!

Let's also not forget that physical touch and sex in itself, also promotes the release of feel-good hormones and reduce stress hormones, improving mood and reducing anxiety and feelings of depression. 

There's endless causes of relationship anxiety (more than you may think, which is why it's so common.) But it doesn't have to remain a permanent, prominent part of your life and relationships.

On that note, we have to jump over to this point to home in on it further. After all…

13) Combating (Or Preventing) Depression

Improving self-esteem is also proven to reduce depression, with research showing interventions that boost self-worth and confidence are effective. 

In fact, even just a single one-day self confidence workshop has proven to be “clinically effective at improving depression, reducing levels of anxiety and increasing self-esteem.”

And so, can you imagine the impact that a 6 month coaching programme given that? (Pretty epic, I know!)

Again, it makes sense, for the same reasons as anxiety. Low self-esteem is, after all, a known risk factor for developing depressive symptoms. So increasing your self esteem not only helps to combat it, but also prevent it in the first place.

This creates a happier healthier space for both you and your relationship. What else have we got? Well…

14) Improved Communication

Increased confidence reduces relationship conflict by fostering healthier communication, stronger boundaries, and a more secure, less fearful approach to disagreements, allowing individuals to express their needs openly and resolve issues collaboratively rather than defensively. 

This again, results in:

• Deeper connection

• Improved emotional intimacy

• Deeper levels of trust

• Stronger emotional support

• Reduced conflict & misunderstandings

• A better understanding of each other

• Increased security & stability

• Greater relationship satisfaction

• A more fulfilling partnership

Can you see how all of these things start to tie in?

15) Improved Energy & Outlook

When you feel confident, you feel better in yourself and the world around you. This all helps to contribute to an improved outlook and a more optimistic view of, well, pretty much everything.

This of course, has a knock-off effect on your relationship - bringing more energy and enthusiasm into it. Forget boring date nights, or mundane everyday routines. You’ll naturally spice things up by being the best version of you!

16) Mutual Validation

High self-esteem helps partners feel worthy of love and understanding, fostering a relationship where both individuals can give and receive affection more fully; and FEEL better in and about that, as a whole.

Essentially - the more confident you are, the healthier your relationship becomes, the more worthier you feel and the more worthier your partner also feels.

When you work on increasing your confidence in a relationship, you also automatically in turn, start to help your partner to become more confident in the relationship (and specifically in how they too, feel in a relationship) as well, so it’s incredibly powerful.

17) Reduced Codependence

Last but not least, increased confidence reduces codependency by fostering self-reliance, enabling the setting of healthy boundaries, and shifting the focus from seeking external validation to internal self-worth.

A more confident partner can advocate for their own needs, resist sacrificing their well-being to please others, and build a strong sense of self that doesn't depend on another person's approval. 

It also allows the other person to do their own things, without them feeling threatened or worried.

It leads to the healthiest, happiest dynamics because you will still also in turn have all of the closeness that confidence in a relationship brings. What’s not to love about it?!

What To Do Next

That rounds up our list of 17 effects couples find from increased confidence, although I’m sure you can think of plenty more!

If you found this post helpful, and you’re now fully convinced of the value that increasing your self confidence undoubtedly brings - not just to yourself but also to your relationship - then it’s time to take the next step.

I’ve been helping women all over the world to improve their self confidence in a relationship for over half a decade now, as a Strategic Intervention Coach, specialising in Self Love.

Click here to learn the step by step approach I use.

There are endless reasons to focus on this right now, and - actually - 0 reasons not to. Wouldn’t you agree?

Even if it’s starting small - and taking tiny steps each day to improve your self esteem, it will all start to accumulate and pay off, I promise you.

So seize the moment, decide today. Because I PROMISE you, you won’t ever look back.

Your Self Love Story