Self love isn't seasonal. But self love does change through the seasons. Uh huh, we're not kidding. There's actually a month-by-month and specific monthly self love cycle no one talks about - but all women experience, at least to some degree.

See, each month and season brings hormonal shifts, external factors and new pressures to contend with - all of which can influence how difficult or easy it is to sustain a high level of self love.

Understanding these shifts empowers us to meet ourselves with compassion, adjusting our self love or self care practices to honour what our minds and bodies truly need throughout the year.

The Monthly Self Love Cycle No One Talks About

So let's start with a month-by-month breakdown of what women typically contend with, as the seasons change, before breaking down the additional element we should all consider which plays a part in how we feel in and about ourselves every month.

Wondering where your self love is currently at? Then hey, start with our quick 5 Minute Self Love Quiz, and we'll reveal your self love score. It's interesting, incredibly insightful & 100% FREE...

January: New Year, Inner Winter – Rest and Renewal

As the calendar turns, our bodies remain deep in winter's embrace. Post-holiday fatigue combines with the year's shortest daylight hours, creating a perfect storm for introspection and low energy.

This often clashes with the intense "New Year, New Me" pressure, unrealistic resolutions, and diet culture overwhelm, amplified by social media comparison of everyone else's fresh starts.

This isn't weakness—it's biology.

• Reduced sunlight exposure decreases serotonin production, a factor often associated with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) research by the NIMH.

• Whilst lower estrogen and progesterone levels after the festive season can also impact mood and make self-love feel like swimming through treacle, as explored in hormonal behavior research.

January asks us to resist the cultural pressure for dramatic transformation. Instead, this month calls for gentle cocooning and compassionate goal-setting. Your body is conserving energy, not resisting change.

Self Love Tips For January

1. Nourish Warmly: Choose warming, nutrient-dense foods. Think: soups, stews, and root vegetables that ground and sustain.

2. Journal Gently: Set compassionate intentions rather than harsh resolutions. Ask: "What do I need?" not "What must I fix?"

3. Make Goals Manageable: Break them down step by step, day by day, rather than trying to go for rapid transformation. (It lasts longer that way anyway!)

February: Embracing Inner Stillness Amidst Winter's Grip

February extends winter's invitation to turn inward. The persistent cold and darkness can trigger mild seasonal affective symptoms as cortisol levels rise, increasing our sensitivity to stress.

Combine this with the fact that women are four times more likely than men to be diagnosed with SAD - this is thought to be due to estrogen levels.

All of this is often also amplified by societal pressures like Valentine's Day, leading to relationship comparison and a feeling of being behind in love or life, especially for single women.

The energy required to maintain positivity feels heavier, and that's completely natural. Your nervous system is responding to environmental cues that have shaped human behaviour for millennia.

Self Love Tips For February

So what can you do? What can you focus on? Well...

1. Loving-Kindness Practice: Try getting into the habit of doing a daily metta meditation. This practice reduces self-criticism and increases self-compassion, particularly during challenging seasons.

2. Write a Self Love Letter: Forget how many Valentine's cards you'll receive, and give yourself a boost of self love by writing your own loving letter to yourself. This will actually become one of the sweetest Valentine's traditions that you'll go on to treasure year on year!

3. Start Your Own Self Love Challenge: This is something we encourage any month, any time, but there's no more fitting moment to start this than in the "month of love." Here, why not give ours a try?

March: Awakening with Early Spring – Hormonal Shifts Spark Hope

March marks a turning point. As daylight increases, your brain responds by producing more serotonin and dopamine - nature's own mood lifters. Woohoo.

Simultaneously, estrogen begins its climb, bringing enhanced energy and a renewed desire for social connection. This hormonal shift isn't coincidental; it mirrors the earth's awakening.

Now, this period does also bring pressures around "spring cleaning," "glow-up" expectations, and body image concerns as the weather warms, demanding women emerge from winter visibly transformed.

Despite these external pressures however, many women report feeling their self-love practice becoming easier and more natural during this transition.

The internal critic quietens slightly as neurochemistry shifts in your favour. This can be thought of as your body's follicular phase energy beginning to rise, even if you're not currently menstruating. (More on that later!)

Self Love Tips For March

1. Outdoor Exposure: Aim for 20 minutes of natural light daily. Let's get that serotonin and dopamine in! Morning walks also boost vitamin D and synchronise your circadian rhythm.

2. Creative Expression: Channel rising energy into creative projects. Paint, write, garden—activities that honour your emerging vitality.

3. Social Reconnection: Accept that coffee invitation, initiate more days out with your friends. Your increased oxytocin levels make connection feel more rewarding now.

April: Flourishing Self-Love in Full Spring Bloom

This month frequently aligns with your ovulatory phase, a time when estrogen and testosterone peak. These powerful hormonal shifts naturally heighten self-esteem and boost confidence, helping you navigate external expectations with ease.

For more insights into how hormones influence mood and cognition, consult research often featured in endocrinology journals. Research published in Hormones and Behavior also demonstrates that women experience heightened self-esteem and increased risk-taking behaviour during this phase -- so it's not just us saying so!

You might notice you speak up more easily, set boundaries with less guilt, and feel genuinely proud of your reflection. This is your body's natural boldness emerging, offering an innate strength to embrace your authentic self despite societal pressures.

It's an ideal time for important conversations, trying new experiences, starting new hobbies, or tackling challenges that felt daunting during winter months.

Self Love Tips For April

Here's a few ideas for some of the things you might like to tick off your list this month:

1. Affirmation Practice: Your brain is more receptive to positive messaging now. Speak your strengths aloud daily. Let's do this, ladies!

2. Seasonal Nutrition: Food is fuel! Looking to make more healthy lifestyle choices? Then embrace fresh greens, asparagus, and leafy vegetables that support hormone metabolism.

3. Bold Experiments: Sign up for that class, wear that outfit, have that conversation, ask someone out on a date - your courage is naturally elevated, so you may as well make the most of it!

May: Sustaining Spring's Energy with Balanced Care

As May unfolds, you may notice subtle shifts. Societal pressures around "summer body" readiness, vacation prep, and Mother's Day emotions (for those without children or with difficult family relationships) can add to the mental load.

However, the longer days continue supporting motivation and wellbeing, requiring self-love to strike a delicate balance - honouring ambition whilst recognising the need for rest.

You might feel simultaneously energised by the season and drawn to slower, more nurturing activities. Both impulses are valid. The key is flexibility—moving between doing and being without judgment.

Self Love Tips For May:

1. Mindful Movement: Choose yoga, dance, or gentle stretching. Activities that honour both energy and rest, building strength without depletion.

2. Hydration Focus: As temperatures rise, increase water intake to 2-3 litres daily. Proper hydration supports hormone balance and mood stability.

3. Re-Assess Your Own Personal Goals: Now's a good time to reflect on how you're getting on, where you're at, and what you perhaps may want to spend more time working on.

June: Early Summer's Radiance – Social and Energetic High

June brings peak daylight hours and relatively stable hormone levels—a sweet spot for wellbeing. Research suggests that sunlight exposure can influence serotonin synthesis, whilst studies on oxytocin highlight its role in social bonding and connection.

For many women, this month feels like self love's easiest expression: joyful, social, and expansive. Yet, the ubiquitous "summer social" and constant comparison to others' seemingly perfect graduations and weddings can amplify feelings of FOMO and pressure to always be living your "best life."

Studies show that social connection is one of the strongest predictors of self-esteem and life satisfaction. Your brain is wired to feel good through community, and summer's long evenings naturally facilitate gathering. This isn't superficial—it's deeply nourishing, despite any underlying social anxieties.

Self Love Tips For June:

As the Summer starts to arrive, here's some things you might like to focus on, which are actually proven to support your self love, self care and sense of wellbeing:

1. Community Time: Schedule regular gatherings with friends. Book clubs, walking groups, or simple picnics feed your social nervous system.

2. Outdoor Adventures: Swimming, hiking, cycling—movement in nature boosts endorphins and grounds you in your physical body. This is a legitimate form of self care.

3. Maintaining a Balance: Just don't forget that it doesn't have to be CONSTANTLY go, go, go. Self love means allowing yourself to say no, guilt free - knowing hat you're not missing out, you're simply honouring your needs.

July: Mid-Summer's Heat – Navigating Energy Fluctuations

July's intensity is a double-edged sword. While sunshine is abundant, high temperatures can trigger fatigue and irritability. Women often also face 'bikini body' anxiety, social media vacation comparisons, and the pressure to be constantly social and fun.

Research also indicates that cortisol levels can spike in response to physiological stressors like heat exposure, as your body works to regulate temperature. This is similar to the hormonal shifts that naturally begin towards the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle, as a comparison.

If you feel reactive or exhausted, remember it's physiology, not a flaw.

Self-love in July means acknowledging these challenges, releasing external pressures, and adjusting expectations accordingly.

Self Love Tips For July:

1. Stay Hydrated and Cool: Drink electrolyte-rich fluids and seek shade during peak heat. Your body needs extra support to maintain equilibrium.

2. Calming Breathwork: Practice 4-7-8 breathing (inhale 4 counts, hold 7, exhale 8) to activate your parasympathetic nervous system and reduce heat-related stress.

3. Gentle Evening Routines: Create cooling rituals—lukewarm showers, light meals, and screen-free time before bed to support quality sleep despite warm nights.

August: Late Summer's Reflection – Preparing for Transition

August marks a subtle energetic shift. You may notice increased mood sensitivity, often amplified by summer ending FOMO, or feeling unproductive after all of the Summer fun. You may also find yourself naturally preparing for the coming of Autumn - starting to slow down or turn inwards.

When you're also in the luteal phase of your personal cycle (again, more on this later), this can feel particularly pronounced, as biology and season align in their call for introspection.

Remember, your body senses the changing light, even before your conscious mind registers it, so you actually end up preparing for seasonal changes weeks in advance.

Self-love during August requires patience with yourself and permission to need more than you did in June or July. Change is coming, but remember - that's okay.

Self Love Tips For August

If looking for a self love focus in August, why not:

1. Slow Down: Reduce commitments. Choose restorative activities over high-energy pursuits.

2. Notice the Shifts: Track your energy and mood. Awareness itself is a form of self-compassion.

3. Boundary Reflection: Journal about what's working and what needs to change. Honour your evolving needs.

September: Autumn's Arrival – The Inner Luteal Phase Mirror

September brings autumn's unmistakable arrival, and with it, a powerful parallel to the luteal phase of your menstrual cycle.

Amidst the societal push for productivity, imposter syndrome, and the overwhelm of settling back into routines, you'll also have daylight starting to shorten, which means serotonin production decreases simultaneously.

This double impact - hormonal and environmental - explains why September can feel emotionally complex. It's not weakness; it's your body responding to profound biochemical changes.

Self Love Tips For September

1. Gratitude Journaling: Write three things you appreciate daily. This rewires neural pathways towards positivity during challenging phases.

2. Gentle Movement: Walking, stretching, or yin yoga soothes both body and mind without overtaxing your system.

3. Re-Set & Re-Focus: Now could be another good time to soothe your mind with our 30 Day Self Love Challenge, or even grab a specific Self Love Plan to help with the reset. Remember - there's always things you can do to regain control and change the way you feel.

October: Deep Autumn – Harvesting Emotional Wisdom

October's energy invites natural contraction. Just as trees release their leaves, you're called to examine what you're ready to let go. This isn't loss - it's liberation, especially amidst the holiday prep stress, body image concerns before photos, and the onset of seasonal depression. Uh huh, it's getting closer to that stage again!

Research shows that humans instinctively prepare for winter's rest by simplifying and conserving resources, both physical and emotional.

Self-love in October therefore means setting fierce boundaries and releasing what no longer serves you, including external pressures to always be grateful.

This might feel uncomfortable, particularly if you're conditioned to please others. But authentic self-love sometimes requires saying no, walking away, or choosing yourself over external expectations.

Self Love Tips For October

Self love acts in October could consist of things like:

1. Boundary Setting: Identify one relationship or commitment that drains you. Practice saying no with compassion but firmness.

2. Life Editing: Even in the smallest of ways! Declutter physical spaces—wardrobe, home, digital files. External order supports internal clarity and reduces decision fatigue.

3. Inner Enchantress: Connect with your wise, powerful self. October's energy supports owning your truth without apology or explanation.

November: Early Winter – Embracing Stillness and Self-Compassion

November deepens winter's invitation. Decreasing daylight and colder weather intensify introspection. Energy naturally wanes, and the desire for social engagement often also decreases.

Our bodies do need more rest in winter however. This is because the reduced sunlight disrupts our circadian rhythm, leading to increased melatonin production and decreased serotonin.

This hormonal shift makes us feel more tired and lethargic, while also boosting our immune system, which requires energy to fight off seasonal illnesses. This is your body's wisdom, not laziness.

Your need for rest, warmth, and nourishment isn't indulgence - it's biological necessity and that's okay.

Radical self-kindness means accepting this without guilt, especially when external demands push you to override your innate needs.

Self Love Tips For November

1. Nourishing Foods: Soups, stews, roasted vegetables. Choose meals that warm from the inside out and provide sustained energy.

2. Cozy Environments: Create sanctuaries - soft lighting, comfortable textures, pleasant scents. Your space should feel like a warm embrace.

3. Gentle Creativity: Knitting, reading, mindful cooking. Activities that engage without exhausting, soothing your nervous system. Sounds like a pretty good plan, right?

December: Winter's Depth – Reflection and Gentle Celebration

And then there's December! December brings the year's longest nights and your body's deepest need for rest. While melatonin production encourages sleep and restoration, the external demands for holiday perfectionism and constant joy often create a disconnect with your body's natural circadian rhythm.

This isn't depression - it's your circadian rhythm responding to natural light cycles that have governed human behaviour for millennia.

Self-love in December often feels quieter, more internal, a necessary antidote to year-end reflection anxiety and financial stress from gifting.

Rather than the vibrant, social energy of summer, it manifests as gratitude, connection with loved ones, and gentle acknowledgment of your journey. This softer expression is equally valid and valuable.

Self Love Tips For December

Some self love tips for December might include:

1. Meaningful Connection: Prioritise quality over quantity in relationships. Deep conversations over large gatherings.

2. Ritual and Reflection: Light candles, create meaningful ceremonies that honour your growth and struggles.

3. Gratitude Practice: Review the year with compassion. Acknowledge both triumphs and challenges as teachers.

How Our Self Love Cycle Naturally Changes Throughout The Month

So that rounds up a month by month breakdown of the typical self love cycles we get seasonally.

However, beyond the broad seasonal shifts, within every individual month, women also experience a profound hormonal journey within each month that significantly impacts mood, energy, and our capacity for self love. (Oh the joys of being a woman, hey?)

These natural fluctuations, often misunderstood, are completely normal, but can influence everything from our optimism to our need for rest. See you'll have your:

1) Inner Winter: Rest & Reflection

(Days 1-5 (Menstrual Phase) With hormone levels (estrogen and progesterone) at their lowest, this phase often calls for introspection and deep rest. The inner critic may feel louder, and cultivating self-love can require gentle, conscious effort. It's a time to honor your need for quiet and recharge.

2) Inner Spring: Renewal & Growth

Days 1-13 (Follicular Phase). As estrogen begins to rise, energy levels, focus, and creativity gradually increase. Optimism blossoms, making it easier to connect with self-love and embark on new projects. This is your time for planning and outward expression.

3) Inner Summer: Radiance & Connection

Around Day 14 (Ovulatory Phase). Peak estrogen and testosterone create a surge in confidence, social energy, and communication skills. Self-love feels natural, effortless, and empowering, fostering vibrant connections. This is often when you feel your most radiant and capable.

4) Inner Autumn: Nurture & Release

Days 15-28 (Luteal Phase). Progesterone rises, followed by a drop in both progesterone and estrogen if no pregnancy occurs.

This phase can bring heightened sensitivity, a desire for nesting, and potential PMS symptoms. This is perhaps the most infamous stage of the menstrual cycle, as PMS appears in over 90 percent of women, according to the Office on Women’s Health (OWH).

Self-love here means conscious nurturing, setting boundaries, and emotional processing to prepare for the next cycle.

NOTE: Now this isn't a lesson in your cycle, that's not what we're all about. But it is interesting to know what you're actually contending with, whether you like it or not, every single month, right?

That's All For This One

And so there we have it - that rounds this up: the month-by-month and specific monthly self love cycle no one talks about - but all women experience, at least to some degree.

By understanding the science behind these shifts - the hormones, the neurotransmitters, the environmental factors - you gain power to meet yourself with compassion rather than criticism.

When January feels heavy, you'll remember it's biology, not failure. When April brings unexpected confidence, you'll harness it intentionally. When September's sensitivity arrives, you'll prepare with gentleness rather than resistance.

Of course you can still take control any month, any time, any moment, but it's valuable to be aware of other factors that can come into play so that you're working with them rather than battling against them.

I hope you found this a valuable and interesting read. Knowledge is power, when applied, so ask yourself:

"What's one thing I want to take away from this? And what's one small thing I can do to start to apply it in my life?"

Your Self Love Story